The Tweets
The Tweets

Entries in Time (3)


Second curse evaded; this time with a ring

A few years ago I turned 28 and evaded the 27 curse. This year, I have my feet firmly planted on the ground and no stigmata on my hands or feet. My Jesus year has come and gone and not only have I made it through another arbitrary sign post and this time I'm pulling someone else along with me (metaphorically speaking).

Since I last checked in here, I have gained a few grams on my left hand--and a few thousand more around my waistline. I accept the extra poundage on my waist, but I adore the extra hardware on my left finger.

Being married is an interesting experience in 2013. It's not the obvious life changer that it was when you went straight from your parent's place to a shared dwelling, but it hits you in other ways. Mostlly by saying to your spouse "it's weird that we're married." It's one of the last barriers to cross before you can't deny being a grownup anymore.

As scary as that is, if I have to face the fact that I'm not a kid anymore, I couldn't have picked a better person to stare this new reality in the face with.


It's not a finish line, it's another jumping off point to a new adventure

Being a private person, I often struggle with how much of my life to discuss on this website, and exactly what specifics do I reveal of who I am? It's a part of why there haven't been any posts in a while. When a big chunk of your life is dominated by one event that you aren't sure you want to discuss, it's hard to write anything at all.

Since this happens to a bunch of people, I figure it's not exactly cutting myself open for all to see.

So here it is:

I'm getting married.

And I can't wait.

Growing up, every time I imagined myself married, I pictured the marriage, but never the wedding. Now that I'm neck deep in the planning of said wedding, I'm both impressed at how decisive I can be about things while at the same time being surprisingly calm about 90% of the event. The only real stressor is the ceremony itself, and that's mainly because I am not the biggest fan of public speaking.

So far, things have had this way of coming together almost on their own, and the only real complaint about the whole deal is how--regardless of how well or poorly the planning is going--your life is left in a weird state of limbo until "the day."

So many resources are tied up in getting everything organized that you don't seem to have the energy to take on much else. If I've learned anything, it's why most people say long engagements are such a freaking nightmare; I can only imaging the amount of second guessing and flip flopping would go on as time just goes by without a firm date.

As the date gets closer and closer, the more excited I get, and not just for the wedding. The honeymoon was planned almost before any wedding decision was made, and to be honest I'm just looking forward to the rest of my--our--life.

And at my age, it's going to be so much easier to say "my wife (with or without the Borat accent)" than it ever was to say "girlfriend" "partner" or "fiancée."


Anachronism, Chicago punk rock and New England horror stories

Through the sometimes mad genius of shuffle, I heard a song today that I hadn't heard in a while (Calling All Skeletons by the Alkaline Trio to be exact, but that's not fundamentally important to the story). The interesting thing is that this song, and the entire album it's from reminds me of the Stephen King novel The Stand.

A little background: Irony and Agony (the album the song in question is on) came out in 2008; The Stand was originally published in 1978 (a year before I was born for those not paying attention to the subtitle of this website) and I first read it sometime in the early 1990s.

So why, exactly, are these two things joined at the hip in the recesses of my mind? Well, in the year 2008 I had purchased what was then the latest Alkaline Trio album and was listening to it on my daily commute. As I've been known to do, I would also read at the same time. Some might say that that would be counterproductive and would split my concentration. To these people, I would politely ask that they not pretend to understand the means I use to survive my (week)daily trek to and from my place of work.

...but back to the topic at hand. I'm also the type of person who will re-read favourite books multiple times. I had just gotten though one such cycle of re-reading and there didn't happen to be any new books on my radar at the time. So I culled my ebook collection and I stumbled upon this forgotten gem. Since it had been somewhere around fifteen years since I had read it, my aforementioned split focus leaned heavily towards the book and not the new album in my ears. 

I also go through phases where I listen to entire albums as opposed to having an endless shuffled playlist; sometimes I'll even listen to one album for a period of time.

Thus, the perfect storm was born. While this album seeped its way into my subconscious, I got reacquainted with and old (inanimate) friend. Unbeknownst to me, my mind was already creating links between the two; plot points and lyrics, melodies and emotions. It wasn't until months later, when I heard one of the songs again, did I realize that it reminded me instantly of one section of the book that I thought I had forgotten. I could now tell you exactly how this makes sense; how there actually themes that intersect between the two. Whether I'm right or full of shit doesn't matter. My brain was working on rationalizing this connection well before I was consciously aware of it.

Now, I realize that none of this is unique or particularly noteworthy in and of itself. What struck me as particularly noteworthy how this relates to the human connections that we make.

It might seem natural that when you meet someone and you can connect over a cartoon you saw when you were young because "that's what everybody watched when they were seven." But that's not necessarily so. There are so many people and so many things that we could all be doing at the same time that it is truly remarkable to meet someone who had the exact same experience with something, or if you're really lucky, many of the same things.

There is so much out there for us to consume that we can't all expect to take it all in as soon as it becomes available. There are movies, music and books (among other types of art and entertainment) that I have just been introduced to that have been around for years, not to mention what's out there that has been available longer than I've been alive.

For me to connect with one of my best friends over Welcome Back, Kotter in 2006 is really quite incredible if you think about it. We're close to the same age, but there are still a handful of years separating us, and this particular show was off the air before either of us were born. Sure, the show and quotes from it are in the zeitgeist, but I couldn't tell you how many references I use every day that are met with blank stares.

So, in the spirit of looking on the bright side of life (one example of a reference that people I know don't always know exactly where it comes from *cough*Python*cough), just take a look at your significant other--or one of your close friends--and reflect on some of the things you have in common and just how amazing it is that you were actually able to meet this person who shares a weird connection with a thing that someone you never met created for people that they will never know.

Sometimes I even surprise myself with how disgustingly optimistic I can be... and how I don't hate it.