The Tweets
The Tweets

It's always a nice surprise being on the same page with the Internet

I had no idea that it was a thing, but it turns out that the hashtag #GetOffMyLawn is exactly that. Using it earlier, I wasn't under the impression that I was some sort of hashtag trailblazer or anything; I was just wondering if anyone I knew would get it.

Sometimes it's nice to know you aren't completely off base with the rest of the planet.

If you hadn't noticed, it's an "enjoy the little things" type of day (Maybe with a little humblebragging mixed in).

OCD notwithstanding, definitely not a life over-rehearsed...

Going through boxes of old stuff is always a bit of a harrowing experience. Inevitably, you are transported back to events that you will never truly forget, even if you really wish you could. Then there are the awesome times that you can't believe you forgot about, if even just for a little while. Regardless of whether there were more good memories than bad or vice versa, you can be left feeling like you just went through the emotional ringer.

We all have transitional points in our lives, but I've always thought that our lives were more of an ever-flowing series of events, however varied, that can be encapsulated in one single story.

As it turns out, I was wrong (not that this came as a surprise or anything).

This might be something that many people can relate to, or it could be just some weird product of my never ceasing internal monologue, but to date, I have four very distinct and separate parts of my life. I might even categorize them four distinct lives, because even though I was able to draw on my experiences from the past "lives," I was hurtled back to square one as each one began.

I could create an entire sub site of this blog detailing each of the four--and I might, someday--so I won't go into too much (read: any) detail now.

However, going through the physical reminders of my past over the past few hours, the one major takeaway is that I am as close to knowing exactly who I am now as I ever was.

I can honestly say that I wouldn't change a single thing I did to get me to this point (even though, in a vacuum, there are quite a few wrongs I would absolutely attempt to right). Not to get too cliché here, but all the amazing things in my life I owe to those decisions that pushed me from where I was and brought me to them.

Cliché or not, truth is truth and mistakes push you forward much faster than successes.

I keep having dreams of things I need to do... and waking up and not following through

I had made a half assed promise to myself to not use lyrics as titles for my entries any more, but sometimes, one just fits so perfectly that I have to use it.

Lately, I've been having all these ideas for different projects to start. Some of them are more on the creative end of the spectrum, and others are a bit more practical. Regardless, I have barely started any of them. I get so geared up to do something during the day, and by the time I get home in the evening that energy is gone. I could blame the heat, but I won't. I blame myself.

Consider this post my first step to start changing all of this. I have a list, and I have a phone that can badger me with alerts and reminders (so long as I actually set them... which I will). The practical things on my list will take a bit more effort to get to, as they involve actually going though stuff and purging what I don't need. Creatively, I have enough gadgets of varying portability that I have no real excuse for not being able to do even a tiny bit of work the second I feel inspired.

Sometimes getting things right is all in the timing. Sometimes it takes five years--no, that's not a random number--and sometimes things can come together in the blink of an eye. Either way, I plan to be much busier in the coming months.

...and believe it or not, that's a good thing.

Even a loner can be lonely sometimes...

Yesterday was one of those not so happy anniversaries. I usually try to occupy my time so much that I don't have time to think about it, but a part of me feels that it's unfair of me to do that. As unhappy as this can can--and does--make me feel, I also feel like it's an opportunity to celebrate as well.

I'm not too ashamed to admit that I cried like a baby for a good 15 minutes yesterday after I received an email with some amazing pictures attached. I could say that it was because I was tired, or hot, or any number of things... but I won't. It was a good thing, so no justification is needed.

Sometimes, even the most solitary person needs someone else to be around, for any number of reasons. And sometimes, you won't be able to have access to this someone. That's the nature of life. Everyone has their own lives to live, and as much as you would like to always be there for the people you care about--or hope that people will be there for you in the exact moments you need them--we can't always count on that.

Just acknowledging that you need someone is usually enough. Because, at some point, that person will be there and if you've admitted to yourself that you can't always do it alone, you will actually be able to accept the support when it does show up.

I miss my father so much, there are no words to properly convey how I feel. It can be incredibly painful to think of him, but I force myself to do it every day so that I can keep my memory of him as strong as the man himself. This helps me to see him in others and to describe him to the rest of the world as best I can. Because even if I can only do a mediocre job of it, that representation of who he was is still one of the most admirable of anyone I have ever known.

Didn't say this enough when you were here, but I love you Dad.

Outlines and Obsessions

The problem with having an obsessive personality is that if you let it get out of hand, you end up self destructing the thing you actually want to accomplish. In my three decades on this planet, I have attempted to learn to keep a tight reign on the more obsessive part of my brain, and to only unleash it when it will actually benefit me, as opposed to many a time in my youth when it would bite me in the ass instead.

Lately, I haven't been making the best choices. Nothing completely detrimental to my life or anything, but it's annoying all the same.

Take my new obsession with Klout. Lately, I've seen a jump in my Klout score, which admittedly means nothing, but I've taken it as a personal challenge to make my online presence "matter" a little bit (whatever that means). So of course, when I actively try to jump my score, it drops. Plummets actually. So now I have to do the most oxymoronic thing and actively think about not actively tweeting/Facebooking just for the sake of it.


Quality, not quantity.


Part of the problem is that so few of my flesh and blood friends partake in the same level of nerddom as I do, it's hard to get a foothold in the mountain that is the Internet. I don’t even have a huge home base of support to draw from/lean on. I have no baseline with which to judge my "influence," so there's always a part of me who sees myself as failing.

Again, this is not exactly important in any sense of the word, but it helps to justify--in my mind anyway--my writing and sharing of the nerdy side of me.

I'm also taking a lot of time away from longer form writing--like this blog--which is what I really like to do anyway, even if it's just for me. I suppose it helps with being "Consistently Inconsistent," but whatever.

Due to personal reasons I'd rather not get into, last weekend was a write-off--creatively speaking--but I at least have an outline of a plan for what I want the summer to look like. I have the beginnings of a workout  plan, two personal projects--this blog being one of them--and a new professional philosophy outlined.

With a great Summah soundtrack already set, I'm actually confident that I'll be able to get things rolling instead of lamenting about how much time I've wasted once September rolls around.